The Bug Still Has a Hold

As I have mentioned before, I love performing in plays and musicals, and my wife and I have even started a website devoted to live theatre in Utah, which I have also mentioned before. Because of my being trapped here at the Hell Hole, and also because I am in a mad dash to get my degree, I have not been able to perform in a theatre production in almost 3 years.

Now, I have tried to convince myself that this was okay. I have told myself that I would be okay if I wasn’t able to do it again, after all there are more important things in life that I have to see to now. Plus, the amount of weight I have gained since working at the Hell Hole would preclude me from doing anything anyway. And that’s okay. It’s okay. You have to grow up sometime, right. It’s okay.

Then the other day in a conversation totally unrelated, my wife asked me, “Well, when are you happy?” The very first thought that came to my mind was, “On stage.” I didn’t tell her that is what I thought. But that was the first thought to the question of when am I happy. I am happy on stage.

Then tonight, I saw two friends from the theatre world saying they missed me and wanted me to come back. My heart ached to be connected to that world again.

Maybe it’s not so okay.