Take Me Out to the Ballgame

Some quotes from the other night we spent at our national pastime. All the quotes are from the couple sitting behind us.

As a guy walked past wearing a shirt that said, “Now holding auditions for the role of girlfriend.” The woman behind me read it aloud and then commented, “That’s just not proper baseball attire.”

After a close double play, she said, “Oh, that’s so dramatic.”

The visiting team hit a grand slam in the first inning, jumping to an early lead. Their son said something about if they score 16 runs in one inning then the game would be over.
“No, they’ll they just keep going,” he said.
She said right after, “No, they’ll just keep going”
He said, “The pro’s don’t have a 16 run rule.”
She said, “The pro’s don’t have a 16 run rule.”
Maybe she was stuck on repeat.

“What was that Casey at the Bat thing?” she asked.
“A poem.”
“Yeah, but was it Casey at the Bat or at the Dugout or what?”
Because Casey at the Dugout would be riveting.

“What’s that smoking over there?” she asked.
“Kettle corn.”
“No offense, but that sounds horrible.”
Yes, I am sure he was offended at your dislike of kettle corn.

To get why this one is funny, you have to have a proper picture of who we are dealing with. The guy was quite large. He made me look thin. He took up so much space, his chotch was practically dry-humping the back of my head.
“Oh, feel that breeze,” he said.
“There’s a breeze?”
“Yeah, feel it.”
“Well, the trees over there are moving a bit.”
Apparently the breeze couldn’t find its way around tons-of-fun to hit his wife.

“Let’s go,” he cheered. “Another line drive double, brah.”
Guys who say bro bug me, unless they are actually talking to their brother. The ones who turn bro into brah are ten times worse.

“He’s a lefty, like me,” he said.
“Really, how can you tell?” she asked.
“Lefties always catch with their right and throw with there left.”
“Always?”
“Yeah, unless they only have one arm. See number 19 right there. His glove his on his right hand and that would make him a… .”
“Catcher?”