Utah Transit Authority

You know what the problem with public transportation is? The public. If the random sampling of the American public I experienced this weekend on the old UTA is any indication of what an average American is, then it’s no wonder that people in other countries hate American tourists.

I had the glorious opportunity of riding with the unwashed masses on Saturday. Gas is expensive, we only have one car, and the rest of my family was at a party, so onto the bus I decided to go.

I tried to have a good attitude going in. I really did. Unfortunately, all my preconceived notions were proved true minutes after getting on to the bus. I sat down and immediately was in a wash of booze breath. The lady behind me had apparently decided to hit the sauce a little early that day. But, hey, that’s at least a change up from the normal B.O. I expected.

Until the next stop when three pungent gentlemen got on, instantly filling the bus with that lovely, rotten, spiced meat smell. Mmm, mmm, good. The bus was already hot, and then these smelly jerks hop into the steam cooker. This did nothing to help their stink or my nasal satisfaction.

Then there was the balding guy still trying to pull off a faux-hawk. And he made sure to dye the center strip which only brought more attention to the fact that he didn’t have enough hair for any hairdo let alone a faux-hawk.

The kicker is a commute that normally takes only 10-15 minutes in a car, took 1 hour taking public transit. If time is money, how much money did I really save by taking the bus?