Trying to find missing CDs a while back, I found an old disc of Star Wars sound effects.  We’re talking Windows 3.X old.  It was meant to add Star Wars sound effects to various Windows events.  All the files are in .WAV so I added them to my computer a work.  This is something I am technically not allowed to do.  I’m also not allowed to write this blog on my work PC either.  Meh.

Darth Vader now threatens me when I log off.  C-3PO freaks out about the Rancor when I encounter an error.  Han Solo warns me with a “transmission commencing” when I am getting a fax.

And every time I log in, Yoda asks me, “I am wondering, why are you here?”

Me too, Yoda.  Me freaking too.

That’s weird for an actor to say, right? Let me clarify. I hate an audience at work. I love the audience on stage.

Today while in a client’s office setting up their printer, I had an audience in the form of a phlebotomist. The area I had to work in was very small and cramped and she wouldn’t move to save her life. That game of Solitaire was just too important. Finally, after a while of working around her I said, “I need to get to that computer.” I was hoping she would leave the room. But, no, she just took a seat in the chair the patients sit in when they are getting blood drawn.

And then she just watched.

Now I know my fat butt was real entertaining as I crawled around the disgusting floor, but I hated being watched. Of course, she wasn’t watching the whole time. At one point I turned to ask her something and she was asleep.

I wanted to yell at her, “You’re not working, you’re staring and sleeping and pissing me off. Get out!”

Now granted, said phleb actually worked for a third party who is a competitor of ours and part of my being there was in part to steal some of their business. Maybe she was trying to piss me off on purpose. If so, then bravo. You succeeded.